Chapter 2: Trying to understand myself
Sunday, June 28, 2009 @ 9:58 PM
Understanding myself is sth I been avoiding after that childhood incident...
Ever since then, I found myself to be more introvert, scared of everything and anything..
Even walking in a crowd used to creep me up leaving me in cold sweats...
Its only till going to secondary school that opens up what is really insides of me to my friends..
And I am really grateful for that...
What I behave/do in front of friends still surprises me, as it made me really wonder, is this personality me..
And the introvert qualities had been with me for a decade, till I can't distinguish whether is it born in me, or happen after that incident..
Its like I had two personalities, one is for most people and a tiny part that will only come out for friends..
Sometimes, I even adored myself that even I am hurting inside, I can still console others and smiled to others..
Even I am tired, I can stil drag myself out...
Even I am tired, I still want to do sth for frenz..
And I hate to let anyone see me cry even if I cried in public..
Thanks for my eyes which are deceiving at times when I cried, I manage to deceive ppl tt I am nt crying..
I love to be alone at times for reading, internet-ing and be with frenz for gathering, watching movies, singing, window/shopping...
I love to be responsible, but I dun like to assume responsibility but once I assume responsiblity I will be responsible for the things I assumed responsible for.
This list will go on and on and on..
And maybe even edited, because ppl do change due to different situations and how one reacts to the situations, that what determines their personalities...
That's what makes people special and different from others as different people experience different background and situations..
=) But I believe the heart insides of everyone will remain unchange=)